H y p n o t i z i n g The way she’s curved All dips, and grooves A body so hard Yet, skin so smooth- . S p e e c h l e s s The way she moves Gliding over my being Hesitant, she is not Her touch leaves me reeling- . E l e c t r i c i t y Pulses of foreign energy A body quivers, intensely Drowning in new vibrations A tide ebbs and flows, relentlessly- . T i g h t r o p e Seamlessly, she leads me Into a tango upon life’s edge Gasping beneath her finger’s waltz Passion’s forever pledge- . G o d d e s s Aphrodite in the flesh I’m consumed by ethereal desire Offering up my wanton soul Two bodies ignite into a raging fire- . B r e a t h l e s s Her lips assault my own A succubus of intimate sins Breathing in her essence My unraveling begins-
Friends/Family/Significant Other: “You should open up to us. Communicate. I’m here to listen. It might help.”
Me: *Opens up, falls to pieces, starts trying to explain my anxiety, and my feelings. Explaining how I know I need to talk to someone, and that’s what I’m trying to get lined up, but until then, I just need some semblance of comfort, and normalcy. I need to feel loved, and worthy, because my brain, and my heart, love to tell me that I’m not good enough. That I’ll never be loved. That it’s too late for your happy ending. Crying out to my higher power, every night, begging for some sign, some type of goodness, some memory of who I used to be, before my spirit and soul were crushed.*
Friends: “Maybe you should get therapy.” 😳
Family: “Just pray about it, sweetie.”
Significant Other: “You need to get out of your head. You overthink too fucking much. You’re crying for literally no reason, like, just try to chill. “You should smoke weed. It’ll help.” (I rarely even drink. Never liked smoking weed. Don’t care who does, it isn’t for me. He knows that. After almost 7 fucking years, HE KNOWS THAT.)
Me: 😳🥺 Never again. Truly, and utterly alone. Fuck.
Her touch reigned me in, she held full control. As the moon enthralls the waves, she slowly consumed me. . I would rise, her grip intensely firm. Heat rushing through my veins, raging like a forest on fire. . Her breath teased my ear, she knew what my body needed. I could feel her lips curve, smirking, as she slowed the pace. . Frustration left my lips, caught up in my own hunger. She knew what she was doing, she had me where she wanted me. . Soothing my indifference, her lips captured mine on a moan. Our tongues intertwined, entangled within our desire. . She rocked against my core, her own passion overwhelming. I shattered, falling to pieces. . Cocooned beneath her body, my curves against her own. She was my missing piece, my puzzle had been solved.
Like the rain when it falls My emotions cascade . Rivulets of feeling Wading throughout Am I confused? . My thoughts disperse Electric bolts, flash Every different direction . Shocked Zapped Stunned . Yet, my chaos remains unorganized Apparitions appear . Which will guide me? Protect my path? Protect me?
Raw despair is growing Like grass after a Spring rain Building up, relentlessly Soon, I will be slain . My pain will be revealed For all the world to see Without even my words My angst will break through me . Against my Will, I’ll cry Desperate to be cocooned Hiding my state of weakness Runes of fire will consume . My spirit will be shredded Each scab will be ripped off Successfully, I will be broken But, no longer will I be lost
My character is NOT defined by the clothes I choose to wear. I am not inviting you to touch if the skin of me is bare. . I dress in what makes me happy I don’t dress to impress another. No part of me is an invitation for your hands to reach, and plunder. . No one owns my body, it’s mine, and mine alone. As a woman, I am not here as some possession you think you own. . NO ONE should feel entitled to absolutely ANY part of me. No means no, no matter what, I shouldn’t fear being free. . If I don’t want to be intimate that is me saying ‘No.’ Your suspicions after refusal should never have played a role. . A woman doesn’t walk this Earth for the species of the male. We are NOT your personal property. Keep your fucking hands to yourself.
What does that feel like? To be confident… able to embrace my flaws? To look, lovingly, at the extra cushion Eyes proud of my stretch marks A fan of the way my hips protrude Gentle with my stomach pooch How do I see myself through the eyes of another? How can I plant, firmly, such grace into my mind? I just want to see my worth I just want to truly love me. To embrace the curves that make me the way that my words made this poem.